There are 9 of us growing up and I wonder how my parents trying hard to raise us, providing all the necessities, foods, education...
I believe they did sacrifice a lot...
Devoted 100% of their time to the family...
No "ME" time...
I remember too, we never had a family holiday like the others...
Only once a while like going to their hometown in Tamparuli...
Or to KK, visitng sick relatives...
Other than that, we stayed at home...
There is no holiday time like berpiknik tepi sungai, pigi shopping complex, pigi poring... none...
At that time I don't understand why..
I always, secretly comparing my life with my cousins...
Dorang kena beli baju baru tapi saya pakai baju lama kakak-kakak saya..
Baju sekolah pun sama..
Family cousin pigi makan angin around Sabah, kami?
Sana-sana rumah, diam-diam...
Then, now saya punya giliran menjadi ibubapa...
Bit by bit I now understand how much sacrifce being a parents are...
At least saya boleh lagi pigi melancong, spend time with friends, kupi-kupi...
But my parents didn't had he privilege to do so...
Walaupun dia tidak kasi beli kami barang-barang atau baju baru, surprisingly kami tidak pernah lapar, idak pernah telanjang, tidak pernah berhujan sebab tiada tempat tinggal...
Dorang korbankan setiap masa dorang hanya untuk pastikan kami hidup dan ada education...
Mungkin bapa saya tekanan, which explain his source of relief was consuming alcohol but even with that, dia masih seorang bapa yang bertanggungjawab...
Tidak pernah cuti sakit walaupun teruk kogutan dia the next day....
And now here I am, thinking about how hard it is becoming a mother...
Thinking about my next getaway...
How I want to stop working....
Adakah saya belum sedia mau sacrifice like my parents?
Am I not strong enough...
SHE: ........................
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